My feelings are for my protection. I deserve to feel safe and secure. My feelings are part of who I am. By Claiming and experiencing my feelings, I am adding to my inner strength and self-esteem.
My emotions are who I am, I accept myself. I accept my emotions. The power I need to make my life work comes from inside me. My feelings are an essential part of my personal power. By claiming my power, I give full permission for God to work through me. I now make my own decisions. Taking my personal initiative is natural for me.
The best thing i can do for the world is to take care of myself. My emotions are my responsibility. When i blame another person for my feelings, i am giving my power over to that person and declaring myself a victim. Expressing my feelings is as important for my health as eating, sleeping and breathing.
As I live I am developing skills for maintaining my safety while allowing my self to be vulnerable in my personal relationships. the more I care for myself, the more i have to offer to others. Intimacy begins with the journey into myself. the more I trust myself, the more I can trust those around me.
I was born innocent and open. The innocent child I once was is still alive and awake inside me right now. My inner child is all of my emotions. i accept myself no matter what I am feeling. All of my feelings are OK with me. I have the strength, skill and knowledge necessary to protect and care for myself. I am an adult with a precious child inside me. I am whole and complete.
As a person, I am a vast mystery. i am in the process of discovering what it means to be joyful, healthy and wise. i accept all of my emotions, especially my pain and my fears. By claiming my pain and my fear, i am taking charge of them. When i am in charge of my feelings, I am in charge of my life. As a person, it is important that I be open and receptive to the world. I am sensitive and responsive in my relations with other people. I am open to the deep and magical aspics of who I am.I am at peace and at home in this world.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Sources of Anger
Physical Pain. When you hurt yourself physically and the pain continues the next day you find yourself irritable. When you experience unexpected pain you automatically react with anger. Pain will cause immediate anger.
Muscle Tension. if you have ever sprained your muscle you know what the sensation is like. The usual areas of sprain are: the back, neck, shoulders, arms, legs, feet. Anger can sometimes relieve the painful situation.
Overwork. Fatigue creates stress. There is a substance in your body called lactic acid which builds up in muscle tissue until your feel discomfort which forces you into an arousal reaction called anger.
When Your Needs Are Blocked. We all have needs that must be meet for us to feel comfortable. If we do not eat properly, we feel hungry. If we do not get enough sleep, we get irritable. If we have not experienced the sensation of being loved, we feel not wanted. As these needs are blocked the sensation becomes stronger and stronger until we become angry.
Things Are Not As They Should Be. When your picture of how your world should be gets out of sort we begin to feel stress. You might start out by demanding respect. You are told at work that your performance is substandard after putting a lot of effort into a project. You begin to look at your world and you find things are out of sort and you will no longer tolerate this. You explode in anger.
You Feel Attacked. This is an immediate reaction to a perceived enemy. You will use aggressive anger to push away any threat you feel toward yourself.
Feeling Abandoned. This is a threat to your emotional survival.When you feel your loved one has abandoned you, you will respond with anger.Here anger helps you to block awareness of the fear of loss and abandonment while mobilizing you to want to get out of this relationship. You want the other person to experience some of the pain that you are experiencing.
Muscle Tension. if you have ever sprained your muscle you know what the sensation is like. The usual areas of sprain are: the back, neck, shoulders, arms, legs, feet. Anger can sometimes relieve the painful situation.
Overwork. Fatigue creates stress. There is a substance in your body called lactic acid which builds up in muscle tissue until your feel discomfort which forces you into an arousal reaction called anger.
When Your Needs Are Blocked. We all have needs that must be meet for us to feel comfortable. If we do not eat properly, we feel hungry. If we do not get enough sleep, we get irritable. If we have not experienced the sensation of being loved, we feel not wanted. As these needs are blocked the sensation becomes stronger and stronger until we become angry.
Things Are Not As They Should Be. When your picture of how your world should be gets out of sort we begin to feel stress. You might start out by demanding respect. You are told at work that your performance is substandard after putting a lot of effort into a project. You begin to look at your world and you find things are out of sort and you will no longer tolerate this. You explode in anger.
You Feel Attacked. This is an immediate reaction to a perceived enemy. You will use aggressive anger to push away any threat you feel toward yourself.
Feeling Abandoned. This is a threat to your emotional survival.When you feel your loved one has abandoned you, you will respond with anger.Here anger helps you to block awareness of the fear of loss and abandonment while mobilizing you to want to get out of this relationship. You want the other person to experience some of the pain that you are experiencing.
How Do You Experience Anger?
There are many ways you can experience anger. Here are a few of them.
Anxiety & Fear. When you fear that something is out of my control and I cannot fix it. I begin to experience anxiety. I become hypersensitive and I begin to express this anxiety by angry outbursts
Loss & Depression. This type of anger, while less explosive in nature, is more painful. You find that little things are more apt to bother you. The day to day grind becomes more annoying. You are preoccupied with the sadness that you feel. You repress these feelings and turn them in on yourself. You repress them until they explode.
Hurt. This pain is so acute that anger is the only way you know how to protect yourself. You feel humiliated by things around you and you explode because of the emotional pain you are feeling is so unbearable. By you dwelling on the past hurt it never goes away. You wear a frown on your face. People try to help you, but the pain is too great.
Guilt & Shame. Here anger is used to erase the guilt you feel about yourself. Someone may ask you a question and you shout back your answer. When asked, what is bothering you? you become angry because you feel guilty, but you do not want to acknowledge it.
Feeling like a Failure. Many people have at their core an issue of feeling bad about themselves. This issue is a sensitive spot in their personality. When this issue is activated by an event it causes a chain reaction that leads to an angry outburst.
Feeling Rushed. There are many situations that make us feel this way. You are late for supper because of traffic. All you hear is why are you late? Sometimes it is because of job related business and your spouse makes a big issue out of this. You react with explosive anger.
Overstimulating. When we experience too much excitement, we stayed up too late last night, lack of sleep or any stress that you place upon yourself for a sustained period of time will cause irritability. If you do not give your body a rest you will experience anger
Anxiety & Fear. When you fear that something is out of my control and I cannot fix it. I begin to experience anxiety. I become hypersensitive and I begin to express this anxiety by angry outbursts
Loss & Depression. This type of anger, while less explosive in nature, is more painful. You find that little things are more apt to bother you. The day to day grind becomes more annoying. You are preoccupied with the sadness that you feel. You repress these feelings and turn them in on yourself. You repress them until they explode.
Hurt. This pain is so acute that anger is the only way you know how to protect yourself. You feel humiliated by things around you and you explode because of the emotional pain you are feeling is so unbearable. By you dwelling on the past hurt it never goes away. You wear a frown on your face. People try to help you, but the pain is too great.
Guilt & Shame. Here anger is used to erase the guilt you feel about yourself. Someone may ask you a question and you shout back your answer. When asked, what is bothering you? you become angry because you feel guilty, but you do not want to acknowledge it.
Feeling like a Failure. Many people have at their core an issue of feeling bad about themselves. This issue is a sensitive spot in their personality. When this issue is activated by an event it causes a chain reaction that leads to an angry outburst.
Feeling Rushed. There are many situations that make us feel this way. You are late for supper because of traffic. All you hear is why are you late? Sometimes it is because of job related business and your spouse makes a big issue out of this. You react with explosive anger.
Overstimulating. When we experience too much excitement, we stayed up too late last night, lack of sleep or any stress that you place upon yourself for a sustained period of time will cause irritability. If you do not give your body a rest you will experience anger
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Shame Based Anger
Shame is defined as a painful sense of feeling defective as a person. Shame has many ways of expressing itself. Here are some symptoms:
You blush often with embarrassment.
You walk with your head bowed.
You cannot make eye contact with another person. You find it hard to talk to people.
Shame paralyzes you in your everyday actions.
Symptoms:
1. Arrogance- because you feel ashamed you pretend you are better than others. You say things to yourself like,"When I become #1 I will never feel ashamed again!"
2. Narcissism- People do not see what a great person I really am. I burst into rage when I feel people are attacking me.
3.Rage- because you feel shame, everyone is throwing stones at you. You are always under attack.
Common things you think about yourself:
1. I am no good.
2. I am not good enough. I must prove myself.
3. I do not belong.
4. I am not lovable.
5. I should not be treated like this.
What do these common things look like in behavior?
1. i am no good. - You feel hopeless.You do not want people around.
2.I am not good enough- You specialize in comparisons. I am not as good as____.
3. I do not belong- You put yourself outside the circle. I always feel like an outsider.
4.I am not lovable- As a adult you feel deeply shamed and fear abandonment. No matter how long someone loves you, you feel it will never last.
5.I should not- I wish I were never born. Life seems to have to value.
Cure for Shame Based Anger
Come to believe these 5 statements. Write them on your mirror and read them daily
1. I am good.
2. I am good enough. I am who I am.
3. I am lovable.
4. I do belong. I have a right to be here.
5. I am! I am wonderful.
You blush often with embarrassment.
You walk with your head bowed.
You cannot make eye contact with another person. You find it hard to talk to people.
Shame paralyzes you in your everyday actions.
Symptoms:
1. Arrogance- because you feel ashamed you pretend you are better than others. You say things to yourself like,"When I become #1 I will never feel ashamed again!"
2. Narcissism- People do not see what a great person I really am. I burst into rage when I feel people are attacking me.
3.Rage- because you feel shame, everyone is throwing stones at you. You are always under attack.
Common things you think about yourself:
1. I am no good.
2. I am not good enough. I must prove myself.
3. I do not belong.
4. I am not lovable.
5. I should not be treated like this.
What do these common things look like in behavior?
1. i am no good. - You feel hopeless.You do not want people around.
2.I am not good enough- You specialize in comparisons. I am not as good as____.
3. I do not belong- You put yourself outside the circle. I always feel like an outsider.
4.I am not lovable- As a adult you feel deeply shamed and fear abandonment. No matter how long someone loves you, you feel it will never last.
5.I should not- I wish I were never born. Life seems to have to value.
Cure for Shame Based Anger
Come to believe these 5 statements. Write them on your mirror and read them daily
1. I am good.
2. I am good enough. I am who I am.
3. I am lovable.
4. I do belong. I have a right to be here.
5. I am! I am wonderful.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Deliberate Anger
There are for main payoffs for using anger.
It says I have power.
To show off or to look good to another.
To keep people away from you.
You can avoid real feelings.
When you use anger as a source of power you think like this. I'll show you who is the boss. You better do what I tell you to do. If this does not work and it appears that you are losing control you begin to throw things around. You threaten to beat the other person up. You are only using power because it gets you what you want because you scare the other person (child,wife,girlfriend). The basic message you are sending is I want what I want and I want it now. You won't dare to defy me if you know what is good for you.
We all like to have a macho image. We all like to think we are tough. We see ourselves as buff.
Image is the desire to impress others by looking and acting tough.
Here are some tough guy rules:
The only feeling you can show is anger. Growl, show your teeth and you are safe.
All you have to do is stomp your feet. You can never run away from a fight!
There are a lot of tough guys in the world and they are very lonely.
You only know one image of yourself and that is be tough, otherwise, you are a sissy.
You can only be a tough guy, because that is the only image you know.- (Want to try a new image/)
Through your outbursts of anger you send the signal to keep your distance.
You threaten me and so I will fight you. I am not afraid of you.
You do not see that the other person is not threatening you.
Deliberate anger keeps you from feeling any other emotions. You use it to cover every other emotion you may be feeling.
You may be experiencing real sadness- all you say is get away from me or I'll slap you senseless.
Try this Sacred promise:
Name
It says I have power.
To show off or to look good to another.
To keep people away from you.
You can avoid real feelings.
When you use anger as a source of power you think like this. I'll show you who is the boss. You better do what I tell you to do. If this does not work and it appears that you are losing control you begin to throw things around. You threaten to beat the other person up. You are only using power because it gets you what you want because you scare the other person (child,wife,girlfriend). The basic message you are sending is I want what I want and I want it now. You won't dare to defy me if you know what is good for you.
We all like to have a macho image. We all like to think we are tough. We see ourselves as buff.
Image is the desire to impress others by looking and acting tough.
Here are some tough guy rules:
The only feeling you can show is anger. Growl, show your teeth and you are safe.
All you have to do is stomp your feet. You can never run away from a fight!
There are a lot of tough guys in the world and they are very lonely.
You only know one image of yourself and that is be tough, otherwise, you are a sissy.
You can only be a tough guy, because that is the only image you know.- (Want to try a new image/)
Through your outbursts of anger you send the signal to keep your distance.
You threaten me and so I will fight you. I am not afraid of you.
You do not see that the other person is not threatening you.
Deliberate anger keeps you from feeling any other emotions. You use it to cover every other emotion you may be feeling.
You may be experiencing real sadness- all you say is get away from me or I'll slap you senseless.
Try this Sacred promise:
I
_____________________
promise to quit faking or expressing only anger inappropiately
Instead, I will tell the truth.
I will ask directly for what I want.
I will not use my anger to scare or control people.
I give you permission to remind me of this promise any time you suspect
I am faking or exaggerating my anger to control you.
I may get angry in the future.
I may tell you I am angry.
I promise the anger will be real, not phoney.
It will not be just to get you or others to do what I want.
So help me
God!
______________________God!
Name
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Understanding Anxiety
It is very normal to feel worried and tense when a person faces a stressful situation. Anxiety has been wired into our genes as the body's natural response to danger, and motivates us to seek solutions to problems.
Anxiety is not a bad thing. It may feel unpleasant, but it will never kill you. In fact, anxiety can help a person by keeping you focused,and spring you into action to solve the problem.
So when does anxiety become bad? In you are constantly worried or tense. If it interferes with work, school or your family. If you realize your fears are irrational, yet you cannot get rid of them. Do you avoid everyday life situations because you feel anxious. Do you ever experience rapid heart beats that come on quite suddenly without any reason. Do you feel that there is danger or a catastrope just waiting for you today.
Some ways to deal with anxiety. Ask yourself, is there a reason for my having this thought now?
If the reason is legitimate, what course of action must you take?
What is the worse thing that could happen to you that is causing you this anxiety? Be honest!
You are in charge of your life.
How can I cope with this anxious feeling I am having? What assets or skills do I have that can help me in this situation? Have I had this situation before? What did I do about it at that time?
Taking control of your anxiety takes practice. There is no easy solution. If you are willing to work at anxiety, you will be able to conquer it.
Anxiety is not a bad thing. It may feel unpleasant, but it will never kill you. In fact, anxiety can help a person by keeping you focused,and spring you into action to solve the problem.
So when does anxiety become bad? In you are constantly worried or tense. If it interferes with work, school or your family. If you realize your fears are irrational, yet you cannot get rid of them. Do you avoid everyday life situations because you feel anxious. Do you ever experience rapid heart beats that come on quite suddenly without any reason. Do you feel that there is danger or a catastrope just waiting for you today.
Some ways to deal with anxiety. Ask yourself, is there a reason for my having this thought now?
If the reason is legitimate, what course of action must you take?
What is the worse thing that could happen to you that is causing you this anxiety? Be honest!
You are in charge of your life.
How can I cope with this anxious feeling I am having? What assets or skills do I have that can help me in this situation? Have I had this situation before? What did I do about it at that time?
Taking control of your anxiety takes practice. There is no easy solution. If you are willing to work at anxiety, you will be able to conquer it.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Obsessive Compulsive Behavior
Obsessive compulsive disorder is defined as a illness where a person has unwanted thoughts which causes a person to repeat certain behaviors over and over again. The patterns of behavior become problematic behavior that affects daily living.
Some of the symptoms of OCD is a tendency to experience anxiety over an event in your life. For example a person feels anxious about leaving the stove on. The person fears that if they do not check the stove three times and check the knobs on the stove in a certain sequence a fire will occur. The sense of anxiety is so severe that if the person is outside the home doing an errand they will return to check the stove even if it means not doing the errand.
Some common obsessions are: fear of germs, concern with order, everything must be in a certain way or place, worry that a task was done poorly or incorrectly and they know it was done correctly, fear of their thoughts being wrong or sinful, fear of harming someone.
Some treatments used to treat OCD are exposure and response therapy and Cognitve therapy.
Some of the symptoms of OCD is a tendency to experience anxiety over an event in your life. For example a person feels anxious about leaving the stove on. The person fears that if they do not check the stove three times and check the knobs on the stove in a certain sequence a fire will occur. The sense of anxiety is so severe that if the person is outside the home doing an errand they will return to check the stove even if it means not doing the errand.
Some common obsessions are: fear of germs, concern with order, everything must be in a certain way or place, worry that a task was done poorly or incorrectly and they know it was done correctly, fear of their thoughts being wrong or sinful, fear of harming someone.
Some treatments used to treat OCD are exposure and response therapy and Cognitve therapy.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Writers Cramp
1. Do you need help with writing an article?
2. Need to know some internet sites and what they say about your topic?
3. Need some information for your research project?
Email me: holydatatom@yahoo.com
I can help
2. Need to know some internet sites and what they say about your topic?
3. Need some information for your research project?
Email me: holydatatom@yahoo.com
I can help
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Are you Special? YES!
Have you read the poem DESIDERATA it was found in Old St. Paul's Church, Baltimore Md. in 1692
Listen to what it has to say to you:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in th face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universwe, no less than the trees and the stars; You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doupt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
Listen to what it has to say to you:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in th face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universwe, no less than the trees and the stars; You have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doupt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Are you stressed?
Have you had any crazy thinking lately?
Do be afraid to admit maybe a little. The stress that is out there in America lately you are entitled to have a little stress.
+The meaning you give to an event arouses a lot of stress. What you tell yourself or (self talk)
about the event determines how stressed you will feel.
+ Here are a couple of stress phrases you might have used lately.
It is not fair!!!!
They can't do that to me!!!
+ Have you beat yourself up lately or allowed another to beat you up?
______ just put me down!
I should, could, ought to have.....
+Are you just running away from stress
Any addiction can give temporary relief from stress
I can just make a joke out off my feeling stressed- Na not me!
My solution to stress reduction:
1. Remember you are in charge of your life.
2. Try to keep your emotion of anger in check. Anger is not the solution.
3. Eat good healthy foods- no fast food please
4. Get rest- stress wants to rob you of sleep - rest and clear your mind for 10 minute periods 3-4 times a day.
5. I can deal with this stressful situation.
I will give you some more helpful hints to deal with stress, come back again and check out my blog. I work for corporations and design stress courses. I can help you.
Do be afraid to admit maybe a little. The stress that is out there in America lately you are entitled to have a little stress.
+The meaning you give to an event arouses a lot of stress. What you tell yourself or (self talk)
about the event determines how stressed you will feel.
+ Here are a couple of stress phrases you might have used lately.
It is not fair!!!!
They can't do that to me!!!
+ Have you beat yourself up lately or allowed another to beat you up?
______ just put me down!
I should, could, ought to have.....
+Are you just running away from stress
Any addiction can give temporary relief from stress
I can just make a joke out off my feeling stressed- Na not me!
My solution to stress reduction:
1. Remember you are in charge of your life.
2. Try to keep your emotion of anger in check. Anger is not the solution.
3. Eat good healthy foods- no fast food please
4. Get rest- stress wants to rob you of sleep - rest and clear your mind for 10 minute periods 3-4 times a day.
5. I can deal with this stressful situation.
I will give you some more helpful hints to deal with stress, come back again and check out my blog. I work for corporations and design stress courses. I can help you.
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