Deliberate Anger

There are for main payoffs for using anger.
It says I have power.
To show off or to look good to another.
To keep people away from you.
You can avoid real feelings.

When you use anger as a source of power you think like this. I'll show you who is the boss. You better do what I tell you to do. If this does not work and it appears that you are losing control you begin to throw things around. You threaten to beat the other person up. You are only using power because it gets you what you want because you scare the other person (child,wife,girlfriend). The basic message you are sending is I want what I want and I want it now. You won't dare to defy me if you know what is good for you.

We all like to have a macho image. We all like to think we are tough. We see ourselves as buff.
Image is the desire to impress others by looking and acting tough.
Here are some tough guy rules:
The only feeling you can show is anger. Growl, show your teeth and you are safe.
All you have to do is stomp your feet. You can never run away from a fight!
There are a lot of tough guys in the world and they are very lonely.
You only know one image of yourself and that is be tough, otherwise, you are a sissy.
You can only be a tough guy, because that is the only image you know.- (Want to try a new image/)

Through your outbursts of anger you send the signal to keep your distance.
You threaten me and so I will fight you. I am not afraid of you.
You do not see that the other person is not threatening you.

Deliberate anger keeps you from feeling any other emotions. You use it to cover every other emotion you may be feeling.
You may be experiencing real sadness- all you say is get away from me or I'll slap you senseless.

Try this Sacred promise:

I

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promise to quit faking or expressing only anger inappropiately

Instead, I will tell the truth.

I will ask directly for what I want.

I will not use my anger to scare or control people.

I give you permission to remind me of this promise any time you suspect

I am faking or exaggerating my anger to control you.

I may get angry in the future.

I may tell you I am angry.

I promise the anger will be real, not phoney.

It will not be just to get you or others to do what I want.

So help me
God!

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Name