Shame Based Anger

Shame is defined as a painful sense of feeling defective as a person. Shame has many ways of expressing itself. Here are some symptoms:
You blush often with embarrassment.
You walk with your head bowed.
You cannot make eye contact with another person. You find it hard to talk to people.
Shame paralyzes you in your everyday actions.

Symptoms:
1. Arrogance- because you feel ashamed you pretend you are better than others. You say things to yourself like,"When I become #1 I will never feel ashamed again!"
2. Narcissism- People do not see what a great person I really am. I burst into rage when I feel people are attacking me.
3.Rage- because you feel shame, everyone is throwing stones at you. You are always under attack.

Common things you think about yourself:
1. I am no good.
2. I am not good enough. I must prove myself.
3. I do not belong.
4. I am not lovable.
5. I should not be treated like this.

What do these common things look like in behavior?
1. i am no good. - You feel hopeless.You do not want people around.
2.I am not good enough- You specialize in comparisons. I am not as good as____.
3. I do not belong- You put yourself outside the circle. I always feel like an outsider.
4.I am not lovable- As a adult you feel deeply shamed and fear abandonment. No matter how long someone loves you, you feel it will never last.
5.I should not- I wish I were never born. Life seems to have to value.

Cure for Shame Based Anger
Come to believe these 5 statements. Write them on your mirror and read them daily

1. I am good.
2. I am good enough. I am who I am.
3. I am lovable.
4. I do belong. I have a right to be here.
5. I am! I am wonderful.